Category: You & Others

#33 Who is your Source of Wisdom?

January 23, 2017

“The just man’s lips nourish many, but fools die for want of sense.” Proverbs 10:21

Who do you go to for guidance when you need direction? When you have something really bothering you, when you find yourself in a situation and don’t know what your next move should be, who comes to mind first?

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Picture that person. Good.

Think about what that person possesses to earn your confidence. Why are you drawn to them? Why are comfortable confiding in them and why are confident they will guide you?

I don’t know your person but I think I know a few things about your relationship. Chances are your person will seem well-rooted and centered (at least more than you). Your person won’t let their ego get in the way of helping you and they will have experiences to share.

What do you do if you realize you don’t have someone right now you can confide in? Don’t worry, there is an answer for that, and I will share it before we are done.

I’ve been blessed so far to have four people in my life that I felt I could go to with any situation and get good advice. My father, my wife, my best man and one former boss.

My Dad’s name is Joseph. I’ve always felt he was perfectly named because in many ways he has reminded me of St. Joseph, and I thank God I still have him. As I write this today he is in his 70’s and in fairly good health.

My wife, Lori, is my true counterpart. Her approach is different than mine but she has never stopped challenging me to be a better person. That’s why I married her.

Ed was my best-man twenty-some years ago. We are just enough alike to always be comfortable around each other. But his challenges and successes have been much different than mine, and that has always made him a great sounding board.

Then there was Mike. Mike was the man who hired me for the job that brought my family and I to Texas in 2004. You can read about that experience here. They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Mike was a fantastic mentor to me until his passing a few years ago. However, before he moved to Heaven he shared enough stories with me about business and relationships, to fill a few books (and I intend to).

My hope is that each of you reading this can also point to a parent, spouse, friend or mentor in your own life and know that wisdom is only a call, text or conversation away. My other hope is that you are considered one of those wise people, by someone close to you.

If not, you can be. All wisdom comes from God, and He freely shares it with anyone who asks. He gave all mankind His words, the embodiment of His wisdom.

You can start today (for free!) on your desire to become a wise and valued influencer. Society tries to convince you that wisdom comes at a high price, and that it is shielded in secrecy. The world wants you to believe that only those with money and power can lead.

The truth is, a certain level of financial success does not ensure people will seek you out. And a prestigious position on the corporate ladder, a fancy job title, does not reveal anything about a person’s ability to teach, counsel and guide. If you think you cannot lead because you are not in a management position – think again!

Wisdom does not require power and fortune when choosing a residence for itself. However, having wisdom can certainly lead to financial strength or a job promotion. The clear path that wisdom provides is what we all need to keep from floundering. With it, we become a homing beacon in the dark for others.  unsplash-7cdfzmllwom-william-bout

If you’ve read some of my other stuff you know I advocate certain books in the Bible as starting points. In the Old Testament, I really love the book of Proverbs. Proverbs is a collection of bite-sized “value-bombs”, nuggets of eternal wisdom on relationships and money.

And in the New Testament, start with any of the four Gospels. They are far more than simple biographies of Jesus. As God incarnate, Jesus is called the Word Made Flesh. His time on earth was spent demonstrating wisdom in action.

Wisdom, far more than money or status, makes us valuable to those around us. Take your first steps in that direction. You can start at any age. You can be that person, be the person who comes to mind when someone else is asked who they go to for guidance!

Open your Bible to either the book of Proverbs, or one of the Gospels, and read a passage today.

There you will find a constant companion who is ready, willing and able to advise you, and remain with you, all the days of your life.

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#27 About That F Word…(forgiveness)

June 26, 2016

I am very grateful for Bishop Robert Barron. In one of his YouTube videos, he gave the best definition of love I have ever heard. I have found this very useful, especially when working with difficult people. Offering Unsplash photo-1465829284245-fc3c780208d5He says Love is “willing the good of the other. It’s an act of the will, not an emotion.”

That really helped me understand love – in theory. And nothing has helped me more with love – in practice – than remembering it’s all about forgiveness.

If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.” Matthew 6:14-15

(2011-10-31). Bible: New American Bible, Revised Edition 2011 (Kindle Locations 49086-49087). . Kindle Edition.

That’s right, remember? “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” In one phrase Jesus perfectly sums up the Father’s idea of eternal justice. What I learned over time was that Kindness and Mercy require great strength. They are NOT signs of weakness! It’s easy to get mad and stay there. That’s human nature, and all too common. It’s ordinary. You were made for more. You were made to be extra-ordinary.

So how do we forgive others? It’s easy to say and hard to actually do. Even when we do manage it, we don’t forget. And our minds keep bringing up the hurt and frustration, as if to taunt us. The good news is you don’t have to feel powerless any more.

There’s a story in the gospel about a servant who’s great debt is forgiven until the king finds out the servant refuses to forgive another servant who owes a much smaller debt. He refuses to ‘pay it forward’ and forgive, even though he’s been forgiven. The king grabs the wicked servant and throws him in prison for this.

So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.” Matthew 18:35

(2011-10-31). Bible: New American Bible, Revised Edition 2011 (Kindle Location 49702). . Kindle Edition.

And that picture of prison is the imagery we can use to forgive anyone! Want to become spiritually powerful? Do the following workout every day and be amazed:

Pray the Our Father. After you ask Him to forgive your trespasses, stop and think about every person you need to forgive. Picture someone who owes you something – a debt, an apology, an acknowledgment, etc. Now see that person in a cage, cell , dungeon or shackles. They will remain there until someone let’s them out. You look down and see the key to their incarceration is in your hand. You realize you have all the power, and that power is called mercy. They may not have shown you mercy when they had the chance, but that’s because they don’t yet have what you have. You are stronger, you control this situation and their future. Now show off your strength and release them.

Start with yourself and those in your own home, then family, then friends, then work, then those you encounter online and on social media, then those in traffic and/or strangers out in public. Repeat the process, like reps in a workout.

Sounds like a lot? Like any other form of exercise, it will be work at first, then each day will get a little easier and you will realize you have fewer people to release. Do this regularly and you will begin to forgive others much faster. Your patience will grow too. You will start to see things from other people’s perspective and become a better problem solver. Your spiritual power will be growing, accelerating. And others will start to notice too. Eventually someone will comment on how they wish they could be more like you, and not get so ‘worked up’ all the time. That’s when you share your secret!

#22 The Golden Rule in Your Workplace

October 15, 2015

The Golden Rule. We can all repeat it to others, and we are quick to point out when it is not used, but how much conscious effort do we spend trying to apply it on the job?

“Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets.”  Jesus (Matthew 7:12)

This post was based off of a chapter in my first book, Catholics Mean Business.  CMB CoverImagine how our companies, industries and culture would benefit from a more intense application of this directive.

Think about how you want to be treated in the office or on the job site:

  •  You want to feel appreciated.
  •  You want to be listened to.
  •  You want your calls returned.
  •  You want to be given time to respond to e-mails and other inquiries.
  • You want the sovereignty of your personal space maintained.
  • You want to be asked, not told, when addressed by your peers.
  • You want to feel a part of something important.
  • You want camaraderie.
  • You want to always be treated with dignity and respect.

Now let’s look at the list again, and examine our own consciences.  Is there a culture shift that needs to take place where you work?

You want to feel appreciated – have you thanked people lately?

You want to be listened to – do you grunt at others while staring at your monitor or do you face them and provide undivided attention?

You want your calls returned – we all have calls to return.  Think about them the next time your own phone is not ringing.

You want to be given time to respond to e-mails and other inquiries – practicing patience will help you in immeasurable ways.

You want the sovereignty of your personal space maintained – someone’s desk, cube or office is their home-away-from-home.

You want to be asked, not told, when addressed by your peers – the word please is powerful, and a best-kept secret.

You want to feel a part of something important – it’s not just what we do, but why we do it, that drives us.

You want camaraderie – like it or not, we are all in this together.

You want to always be treated with dignity and respect – Everyone has someone that drives them nuts at work.  Acting more patient and kind (i.e. like Jesus) does not mean we have no boundaries, but it does mean we look beyond ourselves and acknowledge those on the other side of those boundary lines.

On your way into work today, think about your co-workers, bosses, customers and suppliers. Regardless of your position at your company, you can lead by example.  What can you do today, to keep someone else from still wanting these things tonight?

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